"We make our plans, BUT GOD..."

We had every reason to give up.  The average wait time for a domestic adoption was 1 year.  It had been almost 3 years.  I watched all the other prospective adoptive couples on the agency website disappear as they brought their children home.   In my rough estimation, we were passed over by about 75 birth families. We waited only 3 weeks to be chosen by our first child's birth mother.  We had no reason to think that it wouldn't happen again.  Our adoption workers could offer no explanation .  

In November 2011 when our firstborn was only 15 months old, I was worshipping with our church family.  I distinctly remember God impressing upon my heart, "Do not be afraid to start the adoption process again."  It seemed early.  Our son was so young, but we decided to go for it.  

As months turned into years, I began to question God's leading on that Sunday.  Why would He lead us to adoption again if the process was only going to result in heartache and tears?  What was God doing here?

In 2014, I began to look into international adoption.  Up until that spring, I didn't even know that it was an option for us.  Back in 2006 when we first started looking at adoption, we were told that we were ineligible for international adoption due to medical concerns.  I was stunned to learn that international adoption was an option.  I honestly didn't know what to do with the information.  Was God changing our direction?  Was our child waiting for us somewhere overseas?

My husband and I talked and prayed and talked and prayed some more.  I talked to international adoption specialists and read up on different countries.  

But we never had a peace about moving in that direction.  There were obstacles in every direction.   Adopting from another country is no simple task. There are several factors to consider. We all see beautiful families everywhere who have made the journey, but it certainly isn't simple and definitely not for everyone.

On  August 15, 2015, my husband and I sat in his truck in a parking lot.  I was melting down in a puddle of frustration and despair.  We had recently experienced another disappointment in our adoption journey and emotions were running high.  I was certain that I could not bear another disappointment and rejection.  I felt like I was falling apart.  I wanted to quit.  But how could we  walk away from the possibility of another child?  How could we give up on the child that we felt God had for us?  

That morning in the truck, we came up with a "plan."  We decided to stay in the domestic adoption program for a few more months.  If we did not have a placement by the end of that time period, we were going to drop out and pursue international adoption.   Did we have a peace about our "plan"?  Not really.  Were we convinced that it was what God was leading us to do?  No.  

But in the end, our "plan" did not matter.

God is sovereign.

And He had a better plan.

That Saturday, August 15, 2015, our daughter was born.  

"We can make our plans, but the final outcome is in God's hands."

Proverbs 16:1

Waiting to get the phone call that a birthparent has chosen you or that your baby is waiting for you in the hospital can be a journey laced with times of discouragement.  The moment that you are “this close” to becoming a parent (or parent again) only to discover that this is not your baby.  The holidays and milestones that pass when you find yourself thinking: “I thought my family would look different by now.”  The sadness comes in waves. 

The good news for God’s children is that He is with us every step of the way!!!  He has a plan for our life that is greater than anything we could have imagined.

God’s timing is not the same as our timing

 People have said this to me so many times over the past 11 years as we have journeyed in and out of our periods of waiting.  Quite frankly, it used to make me cringe.  I used to think, “What does that even mean?  Is it one of those Christian clichés that people use all the time without really pondering its meaning?  And how is it supposed to make me feel any better?”

As I read the Bible, I began to notice that God talks about His timing a lot.  It is not simply a cliché!

About a year ago, I was reading through the book of John and was pleasantly surprised at how many times “timing” is referenced during Jesus’ ministry on earth.  In John 7, Jesus’ brothers wanted Him to travel to Judea so that His disciples could see the works He was doing.  Jesus’ response:  “My time has not yet come.”  Later in the same chapter, the authorities sought to arrest Him but no one was able to touch Him. 

Even in the life of Jesus the Son of God, things happened in GOD’s timing.  Praise Him!

For the first time, I found comfort in knowing that our family would grow when God caused it to grow.